The Real Reason Why I Disappear

~ Because you can show people better than you can tell them.

Sometimes you just don’t know…Sometimes you have no idea.  Even the most creative and innovative person has a brain fart.  Maybe a even a brain dump.  Sometimes you don’t have the answer.  And sometimes the other side is not hearing a word that’s coming out of your mouth.  Maybe there was a communication blocker (aka Mercury Retrograde) that is swatting your messages the way Tyrone is out here smacking cigarettes out of people’s hands.  (***PLEASE view this VIDEO if you need a laugh. #Tobacco-free Lifestyle)  And in the mist of you feeling stuck, multiple people are looking at you like “Hey creative person, now what?  What’s next?”  And they look at you in disbelief when you reply back “I don’t know.”

Well all this week, I’ve been in a state of “I don’t know.” and I’m expected to always know what to do.  Isn’t that a weird position to be in? I have to plan out my whole summer and I’m running on fumes.  I know that I will come up with some ideas eventually but each day that “I don’t know” is a day closer to needing to make an important final decision for others.  I wish I could be left alone for a few days to be in my own thoughts to regroup and come up with some clear options but those around me want me to make a decision before I take a break…

Crafted The Art of the Taco
Ginger Wheat Beer – Crafted The Art of the Taco, Downtown Greensboro

The other day when it got too much I packed up my laptop and headed downtown. I had a meeting at Crafted The Art of the Taco to discuss yet another creative idea.  When I put my laptop down to get situated to order my food I ordered a ginger wheat beer instead.  Suddenly the anxious thoughts faded as I sat for a minute to look at the downtown traffic and to feel the 73 degree weather.  I instantly started to feel better being out of the house/office.  I felt like I should have been working, like I should have been responding to all of the notifications coming in on my phone but I said fuck it.  Let me take this moment to be human and to be ok with not knowing.  It was so peaceful.

When people are counting on you to keep things rolling the #IDK response is not what they want to hear.  Your needing to take a break may come off as dismissive but know that if YOU are not whole, you can’t be whole for anyone else (Note to self).  I almost passed out recently after an event and that’s when I had to say enough is enough.  Embrace your creativity and embrace your talents, but also embrace when you need a break.  Help them to understand that the ideas that you come up with will be that much more effective when you take a pause and press the reset button on your brain.  The lesson here is to speak up for yourself when you your mind is clouded. 

So guess what?  Next week, I’m going to take a day or two of being unbothered to press the reset button on life.  I get inspired by being around others and being outdoors.  I get inspired by traveling to new places and seeing fresh faces.  Even if that means posting up in a different area within the city to work.  Sometimes something as small as dropping everything that I’m doing to go sit downtown in a bookstore can help me to shift my thoughts. 

Speak up for yourself!  Especially when you your mind is clouded.   Communicate to those that you work with that you are taking a brainstorming getaway so that you won’t come off as being inconsistent or anti-social.  Don’t hide the fact that you need a break.  And don’t feel like you are less than for saying “I don’t know” and that you need time to figure it out.   You may not need to take a week long escapade and even if you do, go for it!

Check out my review of Crafted The Art of the Taco on Yelp!  If you follow me on social media then my IG and Snap stories will tell you that I eat out almost everyday of the week.  I am always somewhere in the city!  Keep checking in and don’t forget, GO TAKE A BREAK!

Akimi Starr 2018 

Akimi Starr on Yelp



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Creative. Diligent. Universal. I am a spiritual being obsessed with the cosmos and delivering messages to inspire people to follow their bliss.

One thought on “The Real Reason Why I Disappear”

  1. Well said. It’s OK to say no just as it is OK to say I don’t know. Let me think about it. Give me some time. Otherwise your life is vacuumed by stress. And isn’t there enough of that in the world?

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